#10

It's been a while since I last penned down my thoughts. and today seems like the right time to reflect on the decision I've made about my career and relationships. It's been over half month into 2023, and life has been quite the rollercoaster.

Honestly, right now I've been feeling a bit lost. maybe due to the fact that I've been pouring so much of my energy into discussing my job with others. It's like I'm surrounded by opinions and advice, but I haven't found that one person I can truly confide in. I've come to realize that this constant interaction might actually be making me more exhausted and less focused on my work. 

Looking around, I see a myriad of emotions in people's lives. Some are elated with engagements, marriages, and the joys of family life, while others are grappling with their own struggles, be it divorce, personal hardships, or even the untimely loss of loved ones. It's reminder that life's journey is diverse, with its own ups and downs.

Right now, I feel like I've hit a crossroads. my energy is drained, and I'm struggling to find my footing. in these moments of vulnerability, I find solace in reminiscing about my family, my dreams, and the reasons I embarked on this journey. taking a deep breath, I remind myself to forge ahead despite the challenges. 

There was this person I once know, someone gentle and caring. we shared moment together, especially during commutes to and from work. he was kind soul, but circumstances led us to part ways. it's strange how someone can touch your life in such a short span, leaving an imprint even after they're gone. nowadays, I find myself exchanging messages with a stranger, someone who checks in on me every couple of days. it's refreshing to have someone ask "Are you okay?" "How was your day" "Are we cool, gal?" their concern brings a touch of warmth to my heart. 

Yet, even with these interactions, I find it hard to muster the courage to venture into a new relationship. maybe I've convinced myself that dedicating my life to my career is enough, that raising a family is m goal. perhaps I've started to believe that a relationship would only be a distraction. but who knows what the future holds?

Despite all these uncertainties, I'm grateful for my past experiences. people have come and gone, teaching me lessons about trust, resilience, and the beauty of embracing change. moving to new places, meeting diverse individuals, exploring unfamiliar territories-it's all been an adventure, a reminder that even when the path seems tough, it eventually leads to better places. 

As I write this, I realize that life's challenges are transient. just like the obstacles I've faced before, this phase will also pass. It's matter of navigating through it with patience and determination. 

Till next time, I've been trying to life right now.